hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
