Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
