The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
