The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
