I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
