I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
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