The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
did i just pee glitter
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
