Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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