from now on my penis is your penis
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
