i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
