I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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