just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
