so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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