took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Did I show you my penis last night?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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