hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i now understand why vodka
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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