How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
