Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
