I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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