You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I need to calm my uterus...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize