do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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