So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
