You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
