Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
