I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize