found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
