The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
