woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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