he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
