Whatcha textin bout Willis?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
