don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
