They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
