rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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