people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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