You work out of a Hotel?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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