Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
