I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The air taste purple.
Randomize