She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
