Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
