If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
