watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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