All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
