i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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