He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
