She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize