need another drink. this is the easiest way
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
