i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Two words: blizzard sex
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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