I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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