I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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