He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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