I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
These tits shall not be calmed
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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