I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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