I hate all girls vehemently.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
