My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
