I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
