Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
