i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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