oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Its about making memories worth repressing
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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