we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
