I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
look no pants
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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