i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
