I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I need moral support for this bender
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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