haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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